"To Be Awake is to Be Alive." - Henry David Thoreau

I'm starting Week 4 of my Happiness Project tomorrow, and it will be my last week of working exclusively on my January resolutions.  I feel a little dejected over my progress so far, but not too much, because I knew change wouldn't come easily.

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I started my project with focusing four weeks on improving my energy, since having more energy might help with later resolutions.  But I knew this month would be difficult, as it would boil down to changing three things about myself that were ingrained habits, but which made me unhappy.

First and foremost, I'm a sleeper.  I sleep all the time if allowed.  I often take naps that turn into sleeping marathons.  I'd sleep well into the afternoons if I didn't have work to get me up.  I also would sleep until the last possible second on work mornings, making me rush around and start my day in a fluster.  I also am a night owl. I'd stay up ridiculously late, whiling away hours watching TV, or reading, checking the news, watching stupid YouTube videos, you name it.  When I would finally drag myself to bed, I'd be so exhausted, I would sleep so hard, which would make it difficult for me to wake up.  Just about every morning I'd wake up in a fugue state, having no idea where I was, what day it was, etc.  Sometimes I'd even wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning and start running around getting ready for work, completely oblivious to the time and day.  So I made the resolutions that I'd be in bed with the lights out by 11pm every night.  On weekdays, I'd wake up at 6 am in order to give myself plenty of time in the mornings.  On weekends, I'd let myself sleep until 8am because I didn't want to torture myself for no reason. :)

Another thing that bothered me was how much of a sloth I am.  Don't get me wrong, my job is pretty physically demanding.  I spend roughly 8 hours a day on my feet walking around, and average about 13 miles a day.  In other words, I definitely get over the 10,000 steps a day suggestion.  But anytime I was not at work, I was on my butt, in front of the computer or couch.  Even at work, I'd take the elevator out of laziness, even when the stairs would be faster.  My main issue was that I wasn't really getting any cardio activity in, even with all my walking.  Not that good type of cardio where you can feel your heart pumping and your blood working through your system.  So I made the decision to get 20 minutes of cardio everyday by running in the morning.  I love running because it helps me focus my thoughts, and I always feel so great after it.  Well, not immediately after it, maybe an hour or so later.  So not only would waking up and running in the morning get me a good heart workout, but it would also help my mind wake up in a very quiet, calm manner.

And the resolutions I was most dreading: giving up caffeine.  People in my family have a life-long addiction to Diet Dr. Pepper.  Well, most of us, anyways.  Since I don't like coffee, drinking sodas was pretty much the only way I got any caffeine.  I rarely drank tea, mostly decaf if I did.  And I don't count chocolate, because it is the nectar of the gods and therefore is in no way bad for you. :)  Also, I noticed people at work tend to tease me about the morning Diet Dr. Pepper's I would drink and would make a comment if I had more than one during the day. (Nevermind the fact that they drink at least two cups of coffee a day...)  Anyways, I'd given up caffeine periodically before, not so much with intention, but because I'd been too lazy to go to the store and get sodas and had run out.  But basically, being so dependent on caffeine made me feel bad about myself, especially when others noticed.  I often used my lack of caffeine as an excuse for silly behavior or stupid mistakes, which made it a really awful sort of crutch for me as well.  Not to mention that caffeine is essentially a drug, and I was addicted.  So I resolved to go cold turkey, and give up caffeine all together.  Well, caffeine in liquid form.  No happiness project should require giving up chocolate.

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So, starting my fourth week, I'm taking the time to look back over the last few weeks and evaluate.  Because I'm crazy, and organized, and a list-maker and note-taker, I've been keeping a chart of my resolutions.  Each day I fill out the chart, with a green check-mark for accomplishing a resolution and a red x-mark for failing one.  Here are some observations from my chart and experience over the last three weeks.

• It is much easier for me to go to bed earlier every night than it is for me to wake up earlier.  No great surprise, as I LOVE sleep.
• I noticed if I don't wake up early, I won't run during the rest of the day.  So it seems getting up early and running for 20 mins are inextricably tied together for me.
• I was sick for 3 days, and then traveled for four days in the middle of my second week, and that knocked me way off track.  It took me a full 3 days to get back to keeping my resolutions in any consistent fashion.
• Giving caffeine up has been the easiest of my resolutions, surprisingly.  I tricked myself by switching to decaf soda and tea, and I've just about weened myself off soda altogether.  Excluding my travel, there have only been two days that I've drank any caffeine.  And I haven't even had a single caffeine headache.  Bizarre...
• I have only had two days in the past three weeks that I accomplished every resolution.  Just two.  That makes me fairly mad at myself.  But on the bright side, including my travel days, I've only had two days were I didn't accomplish a single resolution.

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So, on my last week, starting tomorrow with my resolution to get up at 8am (since I've already broken my going to bed early resolution tonight...), I'm going to try my darnedest to keep every single resolution for a week.  It's one week.  I can do anything for one week.  Hopefully, I can do everything as well.  I know, realistically, I'll fail. But if I succeed, I'm going to be REALLY happy with myself.  And that is the goal of my project, after all.