The First Week in the Trenches

Hello All,

This will probably be a long post.  I'm too lazy to go and do day-by-day, or topic-by-topic, so I'm just going to start typing what I remember and we'll see where it goes.  I'll at least try and put a few pictures in to break up the monotony.

By the way, you may sense some frustration or anger in my post, but honestly, it's just that I'm SO DAMN HOT.  I can't remember the last time I was in some AC.  It's made me quite grumpy.

Each morning of the week my day starts at 4:15AM, when I wake up to get ready for the dig.  I have to get dressed for the dig and bring everything that I'll need with me to the dig site, including my own water.  There's no chance of returning to the "hotel" until we are done for the day at noon.  I also got roped into bringing the tripod for the surveying level every day, so I have to bring that with me as well.  We all have to make it downstairs to the front of the hotel by 4:45AM, promptly, or the bus will leave without you and you have to take a taxi on your own dime to site.  We load all our bags into one van, and all hop into another.
The van is a passenger travel van that can fit about 20 people, which is about how many people we are.  There is, of course, no AC.  The driver only rolls down the window a crack to smoke out of, so it gets quite stuffy in there.  He drops us off on the side of the road and then we begin our long trek up the side of the hill.  And it is quite the trek.  There are two paths: the really steep-dangerous-I'm surprised no one's fallen and died-path, or the longer-slower-steady-Oh my God when will this end-path.

This is not the steep path.  Just imagine what the steep path looks like compared to this.

It takes about 15 minutes to get up to the site from the road.  It, like all good acropolei, is located at the tip top of a rather tall hill in the region.  You're already winded by the time you make it to the site, and you haven't even started the heavy lifting (more on that later).  There is one positive to the hike:  I get to see sunrises and views like these every morning.

Once you arrive at the hilltop, it's straight into the digging with barely even a moment to catch your breath.  Most of the time, it's quite cool in the morning, which makes it nice weather for digging.  That doesn't last very long once the sun comes up.  The sun is quite brutal here.  I keep getting sunburns, even though I wear long clothing and reapply sunscreen 3 or 4 times while on site.  This past weekend I got sunburned on the top of my feet after standing in the sun for 10 minutes.  I really hate my skin sometimes.  But we had one glorious day where it was overcast and sprinkling all day, and the temperature likely didn't break the upper 80's.

The little bit of sun we had that day.

We got a rainbow that day, too.

This dig moves a lot faster than my previous dig.  I've spent the majority of my time here pick-axing and shoveling instead of troweling and brushing.  Let me tell you, this is not fun.  This is not the kind of archaeology I like.  I like slow, methodical, careful archaeology.  With this we pick and pick, maybe find some roof tiles or pithoi, then make a note, rip them out of the ground, throw them in the dirt pile, and move on.  I understand that there's a lot of material to get through, but we seem to be just ignoring the later stuff, just to look further and further back.  It's got me a bit miffed.  We've cleared more dirt in the past week than I did in the entirety of my time at the last dig.

We stop for breakfast for 30 minutes some time around 8AM.  We have to sit in the shade of our storage container and eat the food that the "hotel" provides.  Most of the time it's a ham and cheese sandwich with drinkable yogurt.  90% of the time the yogurt is warm and sour due to it's lack of refrigeration and it's car ride to the site.  Then it's back to work with no scheduled breaks til noon.  We can take shade and water breaks when we need, but there's not many places to get shade and the water is always what you bring, which is always the temp of outside, because there's no refrigeration, ice, or cold storage.

NW corner of the site.

East on the site, and the container, where we store all our stuff.

The Propylon Ramp (smooth paved walkway).

Laying out the lines for a new trench.

Yet despite all the complaining, we have found a lot of really cool stuff, most of which I don't have pictures of.  I started the week working down in the Late Iron Age stratum.  We removed a pebble floor and found some destruction layers with a bunch of pottery.  We also found a really awesome bronze votive of a jar.  It was essentially found by itself amongst a Iron Age destruction layer, so I don't know what sense they're trying to make of it. Once it got interesting, we were moved up to the South side of the site.  They had just taken off the top soil with a bulldozer, so we started digging fresh ground there.  We found a bunch of roof tiles, some continued walls, and pieces of giant pithoi (storage jars).  In my trench we found a bizarre circular stone we think may have been a lid for the storage jar.

The bronze votive jug.

You can't really tell, but there's a pot there.

See!  Here it is with its handle!

A body sherd piece with engraved decoration.

Around 11:45AM, we have what's called no new dirt time.  This means there's no more picking or troweling, you just need to sweep and shovel up the dirt you've already loosened and take notes on the happenings in your trench for the day.  Around noon, we load the equipment in the container or van, and then make the trek down the side of the hill/mountain.  We all climb, covered in dirt and sweat, into the non-AC bus and make the drive back to the "hotel".

The rest of the day has various required activities and free time, which I will talk about in the next post.  

Hope you all have enjoyed seeing the dig through my eyes!

Macedonia. Where is that again?

Hello all!
So most of you know that I have been planning my trip to Macedonia for several months.  I applied for and was accepted to an archaeological dig in Sveti Nikole, Macedonia.  The dig is funded by the Texas Foundation for Archaeological and Historical Research (TFAHR).

I had done a dig in Greece before, and kinda want to study archaeology for the rest of my life, so I was quite excited to get the opportunity to work with this program in a country I've never been to before.  I'll explain what exactly the program entails in later blogs.  But first, I figured I'd talk about how I got here!
While the program pays for much of our expenses here, it did not cover travel costs.  All participants were required to make their own way to the Hotel Ovce Pole (OV-che PAH-lay) in Sveti Nikole (SVE-ti NEE-kohl-lay).  My time here was planned to start circa 4:45AM on July 4th, so I wanted to arrive by July 3rd.  This meant I needed to leave the States on July 2nd.
I stayed up so late on the night of the 1st just trying to get everything together.  My parents were out of town on their own trip, so Mary volunteered to come spend the night in Georgetown and then take me to the airport (thanks, Mary!).  I had packed nearly everything, but had forgotten my power adapter.  So we stopped by Wal-Mart to buy another on our way to the airport.  We got to the airport on time and Mary helped unload my stuff.  I started freaking out (which I apparently accompany with a freak-out dance), but Mary calmed me down.  I checked in and made it through security alright.  I got some breakfast tacos as my last taste of TexMex before I left.  They were awful.  But I suppose that would make my first taste of TexMex afterwards all the more sweet.

Yuk.

As I was calling my bank to let them know of my travels, I saw Mary was calling me.  I knew instantly that I had forgotten my plug adapter in her car.  I didn't really have time to leave and go back through security, so I just told Mary to hang on to it for me.  Man, I felt like a total screw up before my trip even started.
I was a little nervous about switching airlines halfway through my trip, so I went up to the American Airlines gate agent to ask some questions.  They completely ignored me.  They were texting and talking to each other even though they could clearly see and hear me.  So in true Dickenson fashion, I'm boycotting them.  I will never fly American Airlines again!

Boo, American Airlines!

I decided I would worry about my flights as I got to them.  That's why I had planned longer layovers anyways.  On the flight from Austin to New York City, I sat next to a Gwen Bowen look-alike and her husband.  Of course, there were kids behind me kicking my seat the whole flight as well.  During landing, they were screaming like they were on a rollercoaster.  Very obnoxious.  But the flight wasn't a total disaster.  I got there unscathed and finally got to see The Adjustment Bureau, which was great!
I stepped off the plane in NYC and had no idea where I was.  I didn't even know what terminal I was in or where I needed to be.  And since I didn't have my boarding pass for my next flight, I was pretty lost.  I followed the signs for the AirTrain, figuring I would have to switch terminals.  I finally found some nice people at the International Welcome desk who pointed me to the right terminal.  I took the train and arrived in Terminal 1, which was the international departures terminal.  And it was MASSIVE.
I arrived at the line to check in for my Austrian Airlines flight.  There was a large bunch of people from Kosovo who kept cutting in front of me.  One of them finally looked sheepish and let me go in front of him.  I got my next two boarding passes and made my way upstairs to have some lunch.  I had some ridiculously expensive McDonalds and headed down to go through security again.  I got to my gate and called my Mom.  As I was walking through a shop and complaining how I couldn't find a single power adapter, I found one!  So I paid a ridiculous amount of money for it.  I had another near meltdown after talking to my Mom.  I already felt lonely.  But I didn't have much time to think about it before I got on the plane.  And the plane was MASSIVE as well.  It had three seats, an aisle, four seats, an aisle, and then three seats on the other side.  But inexplicably, in the back lefthand side where I had selected my seat, there were only two seats.  So I had a bit more space, which was good because I wanted to sleep.
The plane was ridiculously colored.  It was bright red and green and yellow.  The flight attendants were solid red, including pantyhose and shoes, except for a blue scarf at their necks.  But they provided a blanket, pillow, headphones, and even a copy of the New York Times.  I read the newspaper before passing out for much of the flight.  They provided dinner and breakfast.  Dinner was pretty nice (for airplane food): it was chicken and potatoes with a Greek salad.  Breakfast was... well, it was just a bunch of sandwich meat and a cup of yogurt.  So I didn't really eat that.

Ah, airplane comfort.

I honestly don't remember much of that flight because I slept nearly the whole way there.  The part I do remember is when we were flying over Nova Scotia.  My God, it was the worst turbulence I have EVER experienced.  People's drinks were spilling and the flight attendants' cart fell over.  I swear I came out of my seat at one point.  The flight attendants had to stop serving us and go strap in.  It lasted for about 20 minutes, and then it was smooth sailing (flying) again.
We arrived in Vienna and I woke up long enough to watch the landing.  The scenery was gorgeous.  It was just tons of farmland and looked very picturesque.  The landing was really smooth and people actually applauded!  Deplaning happened pretty quickly for the amount of people we had on that plane.  In the airport, it was much easier to navigate where I was supposed to go than in JFK!  Turns out a bunch of the people I sat next to on the flight were part of a summer exchange program between NY and Vienna.  They were all organizing and I walked with them through passport control and customs, before I went my own way.

Vienna from the skies.

I exchanged some money for Euros so I could pay for my taxi in Skopje (SCOPE-yah).  Man, I was ripped off.  But I needed the money.  I bought a magnet from Vienna, because I wanted to get some sort of tourist trinket from each place I visit, and magnets are pretty popular.  I got one in JFK as well.  I then made it to my gate for Skopje.  The security checkpoint and passport check was right in front of each gate.  I didn't even have to take off my shoes to go through security!  I sat at my gate for a bit and had a Coca Cola.  Then it was time to get on the flight.  I had a window seat and sat next to an elderly Macedonian woman.  They gave us some really nice chocolate hazelnut wafers as a snack.  This flight was pretty uneventful.
Skopje's airport is really small.  They rolled out some stairs for us to deplane, and then we literally took a bus about 200 feet to the terminal.  I made it through passport control and retrieved my bag somewhat intact.  I passed straight through customs without being searched and headed to the taxi post.  It was pretty easy to get a taxi, and cheaper than I thought.  Man, taxis are crazy drivers every place you go.  On our way to Sveti Nikole, we passed fields and fields of sunflowers as far as you can see.  I didn't get any pictures of it because it was raining and they wouldn't turn out.  Hopefully I'll be able to get another picture of them sometime soon.
I had to tell the taxi how to get to the hotel. (Seriously, in a foreign country I've never been to before, I still know the place better than the taxi driver?!)  I arrived to check in and met the directors of the dig, Bill Neidinger and Eulah Matthews.  I then was taken up to my room by the reception clerk, Igor.  Apparently the  room hadn't been cleaned, and Igor was embarrassed.  He sent the maid up to clean.  And she "cleaned" by making the bed (with the sheets already on it) and cleaning up the trash.

Yuk.

Double Yuk.

I'm supposed to get clean in THIS?!

Also, dangerous.  Look at those outlets?! (Also, this is my broken air conditioning.)

I spent the next several hours napping and trying to find an outlet that would fit my adapter.  Yep, turns out the ridiculously expensive adapter I bought won't fit ANY outlets in Macedonia.  They are all recessed and my adapter is not long enough.  Damn again, I just can't catch a break with this stupid adapter!
I ran into another member of the team who invited me to dinner with the rest of the group.  We went to a restaurant in town and I just had a lemonade and a large "shopska" salad, which was basically cucumbers, tomatoes, cheese, and olives.  I was feeling kinda gross after the airplane food and wanted something light.  The lemonade had no sugar...  Oh well, it was really cheap, only about $5 total.  We then came back to the hotel and I walked to the local gas station to get some water for the dig the next day.  Then it was back to the hotel and I met my roommate, Nicole.  She was pretty quiet and kept to herself.  We went to bed early because we had to wake up for the dig at 4:15AM.
That's my first two days of my trip.  I'll try and be regular about updating, but between all the digging and pottery analysis and sleeping, I may not have much time.  I love you all and hope you enjoy reading my travels.  It's definitely been, well, an experience so far!
-A

Travel Blogs coming soon!

Hey guys,

So I'm working on typing up some of my journal entries from my trip.  I've been here nearly 4 days, and so much has happened.  But every spare moment I'm not digging or doing pottery analysis, I'm showering, eating, or sleeping.  So I'll try to get some of my blogs posted tomorrow afternoon.  I'll probably be a few days behind on each post.  I might be able to catch up with weekend, but we're all going as a group to Ohrid, and I don't know yet what free time I'll have then.  But to tide you over, I'll leave you with this picture of where I'm going this weekend!

Love you guys!

"We should look to the mind, and not to the outward appearance." -Aesop

So after I finished my month of Health,  I decided I wanted to tackle the tricky slope of Appearance.

It probably seems shallow to spend a month on making myself happy through improving my appearance.  And it probably is shallow.  But the fact of the matter is, my appearance, or general lack thereof, make me unhappy.  So it was time to fix that.  So I set about doing what I thought would make me happier about my appearance.

1. I got a membership at a tanning salon.

Now, I completely know the bad effects of suntanning.  I know about the skin cancer risks, the damage to the skin, and increased aging of the skin.  I know that I have sensitive skin that burns easily, and family history of skin cancer.  But a small part of me has always thought I'd be comfortable in my own skin if it was just a little darker.  So I decided just for this month, to get a tan membership.  Well, it's definitely been a learning experience.  When I walked into the salon, I felt so out of place in a way I couldn't describe.  Even when the attendants were friendly and patient, I still felt like a vegetarian at a steak house.  I felt a bit ashamed being there.  I had sworn that I'd never do it, that I was fine with my skin color, that I didn't need to change it.  I felt like I had let myself down a bit.  So I didn't tell many people that I was doing it.  I didn't want to be teased and scoffed at when I was already a bit unsure about it.  I was sure that someone would notice and I was worried about having to explain it.  But the thing is, no one noticed.  Not a single person.  And the people that did know couldn't really tell a difference.  After a month of sunburns and general discomfort, there were no noticeable effects.  People did not see me differently.  I didn't see myself differently.
It was an interesting experience.  I can't say it was good.  The results were less than expected and didn't make me happier.  In a way, this was just confirming my suspicions.  I will always be pale and freckly.  I can't say I'm happy about that fact, but I can say I've eliminated the fleeting hope of change.  And that's the first step, I think, to acceptance.

2. I stuck to my dental care and skin care routines.

Another thing about my appearance that makes me unhappy is the state of my face and teeth.  I have stupid adult acne THAT JUST WON'T GO AWAY.  I have small, yellow teeth that are crooked and misshapen.  The reality of fixing these is way out of my budget.  But I figured the best way to start was to get them as healthy as possible.  I've done some careful evaluation of when my acne flares up and the best way to handle it.  I'm working on minimizing the scarring.  I've also started moisturizing more, which according to all dermatologists, is a crucial step.  I've been seeing the dentist to get all my teeth sorted out.  I've got the majority of the dental work done, and I've used the prescribed kit to change the pH-balance of my mouth.  I've kept up my regimen.  While I still have bad days, and have some self-confidence issues, I'm happier knowing I'm taking the best care of it I can.

3. I made more of an effort on my presentation everyday.

I have a job that requires a uniform.  It drains a little bit of me every time I put on that uniform.  It sounds dramatic, but that's how I feel.  The uniform is unflattering and so dang repetitive.  That just adds to my view of the job as well, which is also unflattering and repetitive.  The only choice I have to be a bit independent is through my hair, makeup, and jewelry.  That is, of course, within certain boundaries.  But I decided to make more of an effort on fixing my hair and makeup, and wearing fun jewelry.  I'm still pretty lazy, and have my off days, but I've felt happier about my choice in my appearance over the last three weeks.


But as I've been working through this Appearance stuff, I've come to realize it doesn't really matter.  Not in the way I thought it did.  People don't necessarily remember how your skin looked, or if you were wearing makeup, or had nice earrings on.  They remember how you interacted with them.  If you were kind, thoughtful, energetic, happy.  Or if you were lazy, cynical, bored, stressed, and angry.

And so now I'm working on Attitude.  This one is MUCH harder.  I stopped tallying all my checkmarks and x's on my sheets and I'm attempting to focus solely on attitude.  I'm trying to be nicer, less cynical.  I want to say please and thank you more.  I want to get rid of my road-rage, the cut out the cussing.  I want to be energetic and joyful and exuberant.  I want to enjoy being around others and have them enjoy being around me.  There are no checkmarks for that.  I just have to make the conscious decision every minute of every day to BE HAPPY in mind, as well as in soul.  So we'll see how this goes.

I'm optimistic, I promise! :)

Yes, I'm still here.

I've just been incredibly busy.  But I have a few moments to update y'all on a few things.

I've been planning for all my transitions coming up this summer.  There's a lot done, but still so much more to do!  Every time I cross something off my to-do list, I remember 3 more things!

I've registered for my classes! Yay!  I'm taking courses called Classical Culture Pedagogy, Lyric Poetry, Plato, and Latin Composition.  I'm excited about one, intrigued by one, nervous about one, and terrified about one.  I'll let you guess which is which.
But now that I have that done, I need to worry about tuition wavers, financial aid packages, promissory notes, TAship paperwork, textbooks, and brushing up on my languages.

I've got my plane tickets for Macedonia booked and paid for (actually, more like charged).  Over a period of 33 days, I'll take 12 flights through 6 countries.  I'll only get to spend a significant amount of time in two, possibly four of them.
But now I have to book some hotels, plan some sightseeing, fill out release forms, call doctors, study the previous year reports, buy my trowel and supplies, and get a basic understanding of Macedonian (or whatever they speak...)

I've tried and effectively given up on subleasing my apartment.  It just seems too complicated and I think people who show interest are only being nice and don't really want it.  But it's a great apartment in a great location!  But it is Austin, so it is expensive...  But I've found a place in Lubbock that is not fantastic, but looks good and has the potential to be great.  It's in a great location, has pretty good space, is lower than what I wanted to pay, has W/D connections, a personal water heater, and comes with a gym membership!  Everybody cross their fingers that the appliances, cabinets, and bathrooms aren't AWFUL.
But now I need to tie up loose ends with my current apartment, work out how to pay bills whilst outside the country, figure out moving times, give move out notice, cancel parking and various Austin-based memberships, paint and deep clean my apartment, get carpet steamed, pay admin fees for new apartment, and find a stackable washer/dryer.

I also am behind on cleaning and organizing my apartment, grocery shopping (I've been stretching my pantry and freezer pretty far), I haven't updated my 30 Days of Amy (that I started back in MARCH), I haven't updated the blog in more than a month, and I'm behind on my Happiness Project which is, not surprising, contributing to my stress.  I've also been getting dental work, renewing my driver's license, canceling my cable, yelling at Time Warner for being STUPID, oh and working a full-time job.

I've been so stressed lately I've given myself ulcers, which I haven't done since college.  I'm not even in grad school yet and I'm already a basket case.  I definitely think that being off my happiness project for the last three weeks has adversely affected me.  I've been back on it this week though.  I'm not hitting every mark (never really did to begin with), but I'm feeling better about making an effort towards it.  I just need to have one week off work and social commitments to just sit down and chip away at my list.  Unfortunately, many of these things work sequentially, so I probably won't be finished with everything on this list until next fall.  It's just exhausting to think about that.

But I have been reading a lot lately... It's been my recent escape, since I canceled my cable and all my shows are ending.  I've already finished three books this week.  But I'm not going to pick up another one til next week, after I've chipped away a bit more at the list.

I'll try to update this weekend sometime about my new month of my Happiness Project, but you know how I am...  This month is Appearance.  I'm having a very interesting psychological experience with this one.


I'll leave you with a picture.  It was my birthday (and Shane, too), since I last updated!

We turned 24... Not 42.  We're not so good at the math. :)

"Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind." - Thomas Jefferson

So I've taken a few weeks off from my happiness project.  I was supposed to start my new month of Health on March 27th, but that didn't exactly go according to plan...

I've been a bit of a basket-case lately.  I've been going and doing and worrying and stressing, and it's taken a toll on my mental and physical health.  So I decided to take two weeks off from worrying about the daily stresses of bed times and workouts and budgeting.  I would keep my resolutions as I thought of them, but not pressure myself, and not create my checklist for those two weeks.  Between running out of town, hosting people at my place, worrying about my dig, worrying about grad school, worrying about financial aid, and working overtime, I was having difficulty keeping up a daily routine and it was stressing me out more than making me efficient, organized, or happy.

I had planned to spend one month, in the middle of the year, where I wouldn't add any new resolutions, but just keep working on the ones I had at that moment.  Well, I decided to cut that month in half, and use two weeks of it right now.

And the instant I decided to slow down and give myself a break, I got sick.  This always happens to me.  When I stop going, going, going, I get sick.  I would always get a small cold at the end of midterms or after finals.  After the last two months of constantly activity, the instant I slowed down I got sick.

It seemed kind of silly and a bit ironic to start my month of Health while I was sick.  So I cut it short by one week to give myself time to rest and recover.  I've started the month of Health today, but I'm only going to give it three weeks instead of four, thanks to my illness.  I've slowly been getting over this mutant cold/allergy attack and today was the first day I felt like I could workout again.  So I got up this morning and had an hour-long workout.  I ran two miles, did 100 reps each with my legs and arms, and did 100 crunches.  My whole body feels like jelly, like I just got a really good massage.  I haven't felt this relaxed in a month and it's amazing!

I think taking the three week break was important for my physical and mental health.  I needed to slow down, get my life in order, stop stressing so much, and get my health (and ability to breathe!) back.  This recovery time was essential for me to get back to a lifestyle that fosters happiness.

So today starts health, which I will write about more tomorrow.  Sadly I have to go work overtime now.  Only 11 more weeks left at my job, yay!

"Mo' money, mo' problems" - Notorious B.I.G.

Hey guys,
I know it's been awhile, but March has been a non-stop month for me.  I've been working and traveling and dealing with exciting future issues (which I will write about soon).  Every spare moment I've had has basically been put towards day-to-day living and my happiness project, neither of which include blogging at the moment.  The only reason I'm doing this post right now is that I accidentally took a nap this afternoon after work, which is permitting me to stay up a little later to write this.  So here you go!  An update on my happiness project!

I suppose I should spend some time talking about my Finances month.  All in all, I'm not too happy with my performance this month on my resolutions.  Most of the resolutions weren't day-to-day, but more one-off, which meant I procrastinated.  I didn't finish all my ideas, and some of the ones I did were half-assed.
1. Create a detailed monthly budget:  this one I did partially.  I discovered the budgeting section of my online banking and was even able to link my outside accounts into it.  So I've got all my financial information in one place.  But Bank of America labels my stuff pretty stupidly, so I have to go through and relabel everything before I can get a realistic outlook.  I did about one month back before I got bored and stopped.  And I haven't returned.  But I did spend a couple hours on slow days at work budgeting in my handy-dandy notebook.  I've got general outlines, but it's hard to be specific with so many financial things changing in my life.
2. Start building my savings on a monthly basis:  This I actually have done this month.  I set up a monthly transfer from my checking to savings, and used my debit card a bit more to get my "Keep the Change" savings.  It's still a really small step, but it's on its way.
3. Give myself a monthly allowance:  This one was harder.  I've always kind of considered whatever money I have left after paying all my bills as a monthly allowance.  But now that I'm budgeting, I want to put a definite number on it.  And I don't know what that number should be, but I know I've probably gone over it.  It's easy for me to set a budget and stick to it, if I don't have a life.  But spontaneous eating out with friends, and shopping trips or movies with friends in town, always push me over the edge of a nice, restrained allowance.  I'll definitely need to work more on my commitment to staying within my fun-money budget!
4. Start balancing my checkbook weekly:  This one I've pretty much kept on top of.  I chose to balance my checkbook on Mondays, because I'm always off on those days and have the time to do it.  I don't always do it exactly a week apart, but it always gets done within a calendar week.
5. Make a plan for paying off my car:  This one I haven't done at all.  Well, that's not true.  I got a much bigger than expected refund this year, and I put about 60% of this refund towards my car as additional principal.  I don't know how this is going to affect the amount of or expected end date of my payments.  So I'm waiting until I get my next bill to see what damage I did to it.  From there, I'll be able to make a plan, which will also help with some holes I currently have in my budget plans as well.
6. Start looking into my own car insurance: This one I also half-assed.  I talked to my dad about the car insurance, and I got more of an understanding of what it will cost.  I still have more questions about it.  I also need to just get a quote from a website as well.  And I still need to talk to my mom about my cell phone, which I haven't done at all...

I feel like this month hasn't really helped my happiness at all.  I've become much more aware of my money issues, which has seemed to drop that silent, heavy weight even further on my shoulders.
I've got a bunch of unanswered questions about grad school funding that are plaguing me.  I need to fill out a FAFSA, and they want me to fill out a Work-Study form.  I've been told I'm eligible for tuition and fee waivers, but I can't even find a definitive source on how much tuition is to begin with.  I have no idea how I'm going to be able to live on such a small living stipend, as well as dealing with tuition, fees, textbooks, possible conferences, and future digs.  I need to have a long chat with a financial aid rep from Tech, which is just begging for a headache.
Also, I've found out that the international train service from Greece to Macedonia has been indefinitely cancelled do to budget issues.  This means I'll likely have to fly into the tiny Macedonia airport, which will add an additional $600 or so dollars on to my travel costs.  I had planned to spend a couple days afterwards traveling to Crete, but now there's no chance of that happening.  I can't justify the spending on it when my plane ticket just skyrocketed.
I'm also trying to get my apartment sublet while I'm gone, so I can save about $1800.  Melaina's been helping me with that a bit, asking around with her friends.  I hope something positive comes of it, because everyone I know is leaving Austin, too!  I can ask around at work as a last-ditch effort, but I don't know how likely that'd be.  But it'd be AWESOME if I didn't have to pay that rent...

In other words, this month has not made me happy.  I know a great part of it is that dealing with the problems and issues of money ISN'T fun.  But all these questions and variables are making it difficult, and my inability to solve this is making my resolutions unrewarding.  Unfun + unrewarding = unhappy.  I hoping that over the next couple months, as things get resolved and settled into place, my financial future will become clearer.  So it probably won't ever be fun to deal with this, but at least it could be rewarding to solve these problems and get them squared away.

Phew...  Man, it's really taken it out of me this month.  As far as February's resolutions of energy, I'm still going strong, and doing slightly better than last month.
- My resolution to wake up early: 52% of the time, up from 36% last month
- My running resolution: 43% of the time, up from 31% last month
- No caffeine: 95% of the time, up from 72% last month
- Going to bed early: 65% of the time, down a bit from 68% last month

Next month is health!  I've already made some progress on those resolutions, which you'll find out next post!

"It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money." - Albert Camus

So I failed my last week test... but then again I expected it.

Traveling really breaks up my routine that I'm setting, which is unsurprising.  But I don't feel bad about breaking my routine, as it's good to be flexible and not tied down to the mundane things of life.  I don't feel any more dejected about myself for not accomplishing everything.  But it is important to be realistic about my failure.
So going back over the last month, I've tallied everything up, and I've kept my resolutions 52% of the time, including my sick and traveling days...

I kept my resolution to wake up early 36% of the time.
I kept my resolution to run 20 mins a day 31% of the time.
I kept my no caffeine resolution 72% of the time.
I kept my resolution to go to bed early 68% of the time.

So it's pretty obvious what was really hard for me to do, and what came pretty easy.
As I move into the next month, I have to continue to focus on these resolutions while adding some more.  Hopefully I can keep it going.

Luckily, I've chosen a relatively easy second month: Finances.  These resolutions are going to be less "every day" sort of resolutions and more of a sort of "check off the to-do list" accomplishments.

I have to say, though, that coming up with resolutions for finances is pretty tough for me.  Mainly because I'm waiting to hear back about grad school and financing.  Obviously, this could have a big impact on my finances down the line, and it's hard to think with that in mind, as well as my current situation.  But according to my happiness project, I need to think about what makes me feel happy, what makes me unhappy, and what makes me feel right about my current situation.

So, the resolutions I've developed for this month:

Create a detailed monthly budget.
In general, I've always kept track of my finances pretty well.  But as I'm sure you all are aware, it's the sneaky, small, frivolous purchases that have a way of adding up fast.  I want to keep a more detailed monthly budget to become more aware of my spending habits and know where to cut back.  I also want to create a budget for if I do end up back in school on a very small, fixed income.
Start building my savings on a monthly basis.
Frankly, I don't really have any savings.  I have a retirement plan, through work, which I can't touch, but as for a savings account, it's pretty dismal.  I have the Keep the Change debit card program, which rounds up my purchases and sends the difference to savings, so there is a small build there.  But I also use my credit cards for most of my purchases and then pay it off to get the points, so I don't take advantage of the Keep the Change program enough.  So I want to include savings building in my monthly budget.  I've already set aside a portion of my larger-than-expected refund this year to go to savings.
Give myself a monthly allowance.
After I've paid all the essential bills, I usually have a bit left over to spend.  I tend to be a little crazy with this spending, and end up not getting as much out of it as I could.  It really bothers me when I end up spending way more on fast food and restaurants than necessary, when I could eat at home much cheaper.  I don't shop very often, but when I do, I tend to go on sprees because I've been neglecting my inner shopper for so long.  And frankly, the amount I spend at Barnes & Noble and Half-Price Books is ridiculous, even if I get great deals.  So I need to still allow myself some fun purchases (after all, money is meant to be spent), but to keep it at practical levels that don't interfere with the rest of my budget and don't make me feel wasteful.
Start balancing my checkbook weekly
I have a pretty elaborate excel spreadsheet that I use as my checkbook.  And since I'm not able to carry it around with me, as it's on my desktop, I often will go weeks without updating my checkbook.  I need to stay on top of it more to make sure I'm on track with my budget and my funds haven't mysteriously disappeared.
Make a plan for paying off my car
As long time readers of my blog will remember, I really hate my car.  And not for any good reason, other than it's an annoyance and I'm tired of it and want something new.  As such, I've given up on my pipe dream of trading my car in for a new one.  Practically speaking, it doesn't make sense for me to finally pay off my car, which is in good shape, and then trade it in for something with higher monthly payments.  I want to know what it feels like to drive a car that you completely own.  That you don't have to make payments on. I also want to know this before the possibility of going to grad school on a much smaller, fixed income.  So I want to make a plan to pay off my car loan before the fall.
Start looking into my own car insurance
My parents still pay for my car insurance.  I know, I know, I'm a completely self-sufficient adult, and there's no reason they should be paying for it.  But honestly, the idea of trying to get insurance on my own scares me.  I have no idea how it even works.  I don't even know what a good monthly payment for car insurance is.  I don't even know if it IS in monthly payments.  All I know is my parents have Allstate and I'm insured in 6-month intervals.  So I need to sit down with my dad, who's all-knowing about car insurance, and pick his brain.  I want to get on top of it, and start paying it on my own.  But as I have no idea how much it costs (honestly, is it $50 a month?  $150?), I'm worried to take it on and then possibly not be able to afford it in the fall if I get into grad school...  I also need to start paying for my part of the cell phone bill....  So yeah, parents, I'll probably be bugging you about this stuff sometime this month.

It's going to be much harder to get a sense of accomplishment from this month's resolutions, as I won't have something to check off every day.  But if I can get a handle on all this financial stuff, it will take a huge, silent weight off the back of my mind every day.

"To Be Awake is to Be Alive." - Henry David Thoreau

I'm starting Week 4 of my Happiness Project tomorrow, and it will be my last week of working exclusively on my January resolutions.  I feel a little dejected over my progress so far, but not too much, because I knew change wouldn't come easily.

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I started my project with focusing four weeks on improving my energy, since having more energy might help with later resolutions.  But I knew this month would be difficult, as it would boil down to changing three things about myself that were ingrained habits, but which made me unhappy.

First and foremost, I'm a sleeper.  I sleep all the time if allowed.  I often take naps that turn into sleeping marathons.  I'd sleep well into the afternoons if I didn't have work to get me up.  I also would sleep until the last possible second on work mornings, making me rush around and start my day in a fluster.  I also am a night owl. I'd stay up ridiculously late, whiling away hours watching TV, or reading, checking the news, watching stupid YouTube videos, you name it.  When I would finally drag myself to bed, I'd be so exhausted, I would sleep so hard, which would make it difficult for me to wake up.  Just about every morning I'd wake up in a fugue state, having no idea where I was, what day it was, etc.  Sometimes I'd even wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning and start running around getting ready for work, completely oblivious to the time and day.  So I made the resolutions that I'd be in bed with the lights out by 11pm every night.  On weekdays, I'd wake up at 6 am in order to give myself plenty of time in the mornings.  On weekends, I'd let myself sleep until 8am because I didn't want to torture myself for no reason. :)

Another thing that bothered me was how much of a sloth I am.  Don't get me wrong, my job is pretty physically demanding.  I spend roughly 8 hours a day on my feet walking around, and average about 13 miles a day.  In other words, I definitely get over the 10,000 steps a day suggestion.  But anytime I was not at work, I was on my butt, in front of the computer or couch.  Even at work, I'd take the elevator out of laziness, even when the stairs would be faster.  My main issue was that I wasn't really getting any cardio activity in, even with all my walking.  Not that good type of cardio where you can feel your heart pumping and your blood working through your system.  So I made the decision to get 20 minutes of cardio everyday by running in the morning.  I love running because it helps me focus my thoughts, and I always feel so great after it.  Well, not immediately after it, maybe an hour or so later.  So not only would waking up and running in the morning get me a good heart workout, but it would also help my mind wake up in a very quiet, calm manner.

And the resolutions I was most dreading: giving up caffeine.  People in my family have a life-long addiction to Diet Dr. Pepper.  Well, most of us, anyways.  Since I don't like coffee, drinking sodas was pretty much the only way I got any caffeine.  I rarely drank tea, mostly decaf if I did.  And I don't count chocolate, because it is the nectar of the gods and therefore is in no way bad for you. :)  Also, I noticed people at work tend to tease me about the morning Diet Dr. Pepper's I would drink and would make a comment if I had more than one during the day. (Nevermind the fact that they drink at least two cups of coffee a day...)  Anyways, I'd given up caffeine periodically before, not so much with intention, but because I'd been too lazy to go to the store and get sodas and had run out.  But basically, being so dependent on caffeine made me feel bad about myself, especially when others noticed.  I often used my lack of caffeine as an excuse for silly behavior or stupid mistakes, which made it a really awful sort of crutch for me as well.  Not to mention that caffeine is essentially a drug, and I was addicted.  So I resolved to go cold turkey, and give up caffeine all together.  Well, caffeine in liquid form.  No happiness project should require giving up chocolate.

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So, starting my fourth week, I'm taking the time to look back over the last few weeks and evaluate.  Because I'm crazy, and organized, and a list-maker and note-taker, I've been keeping a chart of my resolutions.  Each day I fill out the chart, with a green check-mark for accomplishing a resolution and a red x-mark for failing one.  Here are some observations from my chart and experience over the last three weeks.

• It is much easier for me to go to bed earlier every night than it is for me to wake up earlier.  No great surprise, as I LOVE sleep.
• I noticed if I don't wake up early, I won't run during the rest of the day.  So it seems getting up early and running for 20 mins are inextricably tied together for me.
• I was sick for 3 days, and then traveled for four days in the middle of my second week, and that knocked me way off track.  It took me a full 3 days to get back to keeping my resolutions in any consistent fashion.
• Giving caffeine up has been the easiest of my resolutions, surprisingly.  I tricked myself by switching to decaf soda and tea, and I've just about weened myself off soda altogether.  Excluding my travel, there have only been two days that I've drank any caffeine.  And I haven't even had a single caffeine headache.  Bizarre...
• I have only had two days in the past three weeks that I accomplished every resolution.  Just two.  That makes me fairly mad at myself.  But on the bright side, including my travel days, I've only had two days were I didn't accomplish a single resolution.

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So, on my last week, starting tomorrow with my resolution to get up at 8am (since I've already broken my going to bed early resolution tonight...), I'm going to try my darnedest to keep every single resolution for a week.  It's one week.  I can do anything for one week.  Hopefully, I can do everything as well.  I know, realistically, I'll fail. But if I succeed, I'm going to be REALLY happy with myself.  And that is the goal of my project, after all.

Pictures from the last 5 months!

Because I really have nothing to write about...

Vegas: a town not built for someone like me.

Hoover Dam was pretty awesome, though.

So cute in his hat!

Dr. Pepper addiction starts early in this family.

Happy Birthday, Little Man!

A bizarre, pretty-awful day that already seems forgotten.

Psych! One of my favorite TV shows, and I got to see them talk!

Yes, I went to a game this season.  We actually won this one!

Ma heart.  She hates me though. :)

 And some videos to make you smile!

The Happiness Project

Hello once again, folks!

I'm a blogging machine this week.  I'm happy I'm keeping up with my resolutions!

Speaking of resolutions...

So, with the new year rolling around, and the tradition of making resolutions, I had been thinking pretty seriously about what I wanted to accomplish this year.  Granted, at New Years, I hadn't decided what I wanted to do with my future, let alone next year, and I was in a pretty low place.

Now, I don't often read non-fiction, and I almost NEVER read self-help books.  They're often too touchy-feely, big picture, "change the world with the power of thinking" for me.  That's not how my brain functions.  I'm a fairly level-headed, emotionally-reserved, detail-oriented person.  But I thought, "What can it hurt?"  So I started doing some research and making plans on how to be happier.

I remember doing an essay on Ben Franklin's Autobiography in 11th-grade English.  Good 'ole Ben decided he wanted to be EVEN MORE AWESOME, so he picked 13 "virtues" that he wanted to cultivate, and then meticulously graded himself every day on how he performed in each virtue.  That seemed like a very rational way to approach bettering yourself.  But I couldn't find any rational self-help books like that.  A lot of books recommend making drastic or vague changes in your life, like "move to a new place" or "think happier".  I can "think happier" about as easily as I could up and move to Bangladesh.  I need concrete goals to achieve, not high-minded ideals.

Then I stumbled upon a gem of a book, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  While reading the inside flap, I recognized that I had the same self-realization that the author did.  Namely, I wasn't depressed with my life, I just wasn't as happy as I should be considering how great my life is.  Ms. Rubin was also tied down to her life; she had a family and a job and couldn't change anything drastic.  But she decided she could be happier and lead a full life (oh yeah, remember my last post?).

As I started reading her introduction, it read more like my internal monologue.  She had much the same ideas as I did, even values.  Her method of approaching things was just like mine.  She loves research, preparation, lists, and guidelines.  She had even come across the Ben Franklin thing herself!  She was officially in my brain, so much so it was scary.

But basically her premise was this.  She would pick eleven different areas of her life, like family, work, friends, leisure, health, finances, faith, etc.  For each one of these, she would pick 3 or 4 concrete resolutions.  Like for leisure, instead of saying "Have more fun", she would say "go see a movie every week" or "join a book club".  She made concrete goals that she could definitively check off of her list.

Then she assigned each different area to a month.  For the first month, she would concentrate on those resolutions only, doing them every day until they became a habit, and an ordinary part of her life.  The next month, she would add her next resolutions and work on those.  This is pretty logical, because it supposedly takes 21 days of doing something repeatedly for the brain to accept it as a habit.  Doing it for a month was giving the resolution a pretty solid chance at habit-hood.  It is a lot of work, when you think big picture and look at how much you're trying to change your outlook over a year.  But breaking it up into manageable chunks that you can see concrete progress with is another way that the brain is wired to work.

She took time before she started to really evaluate her life.  She was honest with herself and figured out what she liked to do, what was going well in her life now, as well as what made her bored or frustrated.    And after making her lists and plans, she then tells what worked for her and what didn't.  By the time she got to December, she was supposed to be incorporating all her different resolutions and hopefully, making her life happier. (I haven't gotten that far yet, to see how it all turned out in the end for her.)

I know it might seem silly, or even crazy, for some of you to try and be happier by going about life so systematically, but that's why all you normal people have regular self-help books.  As for me, I'm going to see how this plan works out.

As such, you'll probably see blog posts over the next year about my progress through this project.  I'll have to do some tweaking, as I'm running late (as usual).  Maybe on February I'll start working on my punctuality and efficiency...

Anyways, wish me luck, if you will!  It's another thing that's got me quite excited about this year, and it'll be interesting to see if the project changes if I get into grad school.  It should, because this is about enjoying my life as it is, regardless of where it is.

amy

Life, Abundantly

On four separate occasions today, I told someone I was living vicariously through them.  Four.

When did I become this person?  When did I stop enjoying life, everyday life?  So I'm not content with my current career or my current love life; that doesn't mean I can't still be HAPPY.

My power verse/life verse/most-moving-and-inspiring-message-I've-ever-read-verse, whatever you want to call it, is from the New Testament of the Bible, John 10:10, particularly the second half of the verse.  Jesus is speaking, and he says, "I have come so that they may have life, and have it more abundantly."  I fully believe that.

My faith is something very personal to me, and I don't talk about it often, so this is likely to be difficult to verbalize or understand.  Bear with me if you care to hear.

After a particularly traumatizing moment in high school, small group faith gatherings lost their appeal.  I still appreciate the act of going to church, mainly the traditional services (who'd've thunk!?).  I like singing the hymns (which seem to resonate more with me, have more depth) and I enjoy any knowledgeable pastor who gives relevant sermons.  But all Sunday schools, and youth groups, and young singles groups and such experiences are not for me.  I've tried, and it just doesn't work for me.  So my faith has become much more internal, something that I think about every day, that influences my decisions.  But it's not something I vocalize very often.  It's something so personal, I don't even talk about it with my family very much, which is saying something.

I know that there is a call to spread "The Word" and all that.  But I also believe we all have our gifts; that God shaped our passions, desires, and talents differently, to reach people on every level.  And I feel like John 10:10 is as much a driving force in my life, a call to mission, as anything else Jesus spoke.  I believe that having an abundant, full life gives glory to God, the creator of it.  That by living each day to the best of my ability, enjoying every minute, and staying true to my morals and values, I am appreciating and giving thanks for what God has given me.  And I believe that people can see that.  That they know I'm happy and content; that I have something in my life, outside of work or school or even family, which makes me feel  like a whole human being, worthy of and celebrating every moment of life.

But that's not the case.  And it hasn't been for a while now.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not a "doubting Thomas".  My beliefs in God, Jesus, and everything else have not changed.  But I've felt very disconnected and unhappy, which is disconcerting to me, because my faith is such a personal relationship type-of-thing.
I don't know when the switch flipped, when I became so bitter and down-trodden.  There's no defining moment; no date I can point to on the calendar that said, "That's when I started being unhappy."

I have felt listless, direction-less, and ultimately depressed because of it.  I  have not been living to my life's full potential.  I've not taken every opportunity available for me to learn, to grow, to appreciate people, to enjoy my free time.  I've filled my life with mundane things that have clouded my perspective.

Yes, it's true, I've made a decision about my future and I'm pursuing it.  And that genuinely has me excited.  But I'm not excited about my life here and now.  I've always secretly been a resolution maker, year round.  "Next week, I'm going to start running more."  "After this hectic week, I'm going to start getting more regular sleep."  "Starting next month, I'm going to stay on top of (insert chore here)."  But I always have these ideas about how, in the future, my life is going to be perfect and orderly and it's going to make me happy, darnit!  But then that date rolls around and I'm lazy, or it slips my mind, and I'm back to failed resolution guilt.

And I kinda feel that way now.  I'm putting all my eggs in one basket over this grad school thing.  I keep thinking, things will get better when I'm back on track, when I'm pursuing my passions.  I'll be happy about my position in life and be able to appreciate all the little things.  I'm just at the bottom of the bell curve, and things will swing upwards in a few months, when my life changes drastically.  I know they will. I KNOW.

But why wait until then?

I'm tired of waiting.

amy

It's the New Year!

And yes, I know I'm late to the party.  I know that we are currently 13 full days into the new year.  But this week has been so life-changing in many ways, that it truly only feels like a new year now.

Anyways, onwards with what will prove to be a very long blog post.  As it's been nearly four months since my last one, you can't really say you didn't see this one coming.

For the last three or so years, I've refused myself the permission to pursue my passion in life.  I've not allowed myself even to entertain the idea of grad school in Classics for many reasons: it's not practical, there's nothing I can do with it, it will cost too much money, dissertations are effing scary, and perhaps most telling, I don't feel like I'd be fantastic at it, so it's not worth my time.

After some inner soul searching, endless praying, straight talk from my mother, and bizarre but relevant advice that came from way out in left field, I have decided to go back to school for Classics.  I'm only applying to one program, as I seem to have missed a few deadlines in my waffling back and forth.

I'm applying to Texas Tech.  I've got about 75% of my application done, and it's due by February 1st.  I'm actually very excited.  Annoyingly so, I've been getting a lot of negative feedback from people at work.  People have been telling me how awful Lubbock is, how living there is going to be boring and dull, how long it's going to take me, how hard it's going to be, etc.  Only two people have had any sort of excitement or even good thoughts.  Everyone either tells me how much it's going to suck or looks at me with a sort of pity, like they think I've just made an awful decision.  This just proves to me that I need to get out of that place; I've never really fit in with the atmosphere of the Austin art world and the pessimism of my coworkers is pulling me down.  But if I get in this grad school program, I'll be out of there and taking the next step in my journey, which I honestly believe will lead me to fulfillment in my career.

It's amazing how relieving it is just to have made this decision.  There's no turning back; I absolutely refuse to allow myself that option.  If for some reason I don't get into this program this year, I'll just work harder and apply to more programs next year.  This is no longer up for discussion or change.  I'm getting a move-on with my life.

And now that my life is not consumed with the depression that came from indecision and self-doubt, everything has a brighter tint to it.  Aside from my job, everything in my life is at a good place.

My family is still as fantastic as ever.  We've had some great times together around the holidays this year.  I think this was our best Christmas celebration yet.  While we weren't all together on Christmas day, we gathered together in the week after and really enjoyed each other's company.  Everyone got together: Mom, Dad, Jason, Melaina, Dana, Trey, Charlie, Me, Shane,  Katy, and yes, even Blue, Eli, Pongo, and Bella.  I don't know about everyone else, but I felt relaxed and joyous spending time in the company of people I love. I'm glad that my parents still seem as strong and happy as ever.  I'm glad Jason is doing so well with the photography business, and that Melaina finished another hard but successful semester at seminary.  I'm glad Dana and Trey just celebrated 5 happy years together, that Trey is doing so well at his work which comes so natural to him.  I'm glad Dana is already seeing success in her New Year's resolution, and gets to spend every day with a picky eater like herself :).  And I'm very glad that Charlie is continuing to grow and develop into an adorable little boy.  He really does steal all our hearts.  And I'm glad that Shane is getting through school, even if it's hard :), that his truck is good as new, and that he's found Katy, a sweet and mature girl, who fits in well with the family already after just a few short months.  I'm sad Blue is nearing the end of her life, but I know she's had a good one.  I'm glad Eli is such a sweet dog who has mellowed with age.  And Pongo and Bella, well, they are still the cutest, and craziest dogs I've ever known.  I love my family, but I'm also blessed to actually like them, too.

As far as friends go, I'm a little lonely.  It's hard, when your two best friends aren't around every day.  I'm happy Cassie has found a friend in SC and that her writing is going so well.  I know she is ridiculously talented and I can't wait to see her finished work.  I'm also SO EXCITED to get the chance to go visit her in February!  I can't wait!  And I miss Mary, my travel buddy who is travelling without me.  I know she is nervous and excited about her trip, and I know she will also have a fantastic time.  Seven weeks in Austin without her will not be fun.  I also can't wait to celebrate with her when she gets her acceptance letter from UW!

As far as boys go, well, there's nothing even to mention, not that I would if there were...

My money situation is stable, but I am slightly worried about grad school.  We'll cross that bridge when I get there.  My apartment and living situation are great!  I still love living alone, and I love my little island in the city.

My health is good, as far as I know, except for this silly cedar fever.  But with time, that will pass.  I'm not all that pleased with my appearance, but I've made a resolution to put more effort into it.  So far, I'd say I'm hitting that resolution about 50% of the time...

I've also made a resolution to read a book a week.  I'm already a bit behind.  I've finished one book, and I'm halfway through another.  It'll probably end up more like a book every week-and-a-half.

I've made the resolution to write more, even if it's not necessarily creatively.  So you should see more blog posts this year.  But maybe not.  I've bought a nice journal, and I've been writing there a lot more.  Apparently it's easier to write when I know it's not going to be broadcast to the world.  But I'm determined not to leave the blog behind either.

I should've probably made a resolution to not watch so much TV, or stop drinking so many Dr. Pepper's, but who am I kidding?  We all have our vices, right?

Since everyone's a full 2 weeks ahead of me, I hope that all your resolutions are sticking well.  And I hope that you have as much hope and clarity of purpose for your new year as I have found for mine.

God Bless
-amy