"It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money." - Albert Camus

So I failed my last week test... but then again I expected it.

Traveling really breaks up my routine that I'm setting, which is unsurprising.  But I don't feel bad about breaking my routine, as it's good to be flexible and not tied down to the mundane things of life.  I don't feel any more dejected about myself for not accomplishing everything.  But it is important to be realistic about my failure.
So going back over the last month, I've tallied everything up, and I've kept my resolutions 52% of the time, including my sick and traveling days...

I kept my resolution to wake up early 36% of the time.
I kept my resolution to run 20 mins a day 31% of the time.
I kept my no caffeine resolution 72% of the time.
I kept my resolution to go to bed early 68% of the time.

So it's pretty obvious what was really hard for me to do, and what came pretty easy.
As I move into the next month, I have to continue to focus on these resolutions while adding some more.  Hopefully I can keep it going.

Luckily, I've chosen a relatively easy second month: Finances.  These resolutions are going to be less "every day" sort of resolutions and more of a sort of "check off the to-do list" accomplishments.

I have to say, though, that coming up with resolutions for finances is pretty tough for me.  Mainly because I'm waiting to hear back about grad school and financing.  Obviously, this could have a big impact on my finances down the line, and it's hard to think with that in mind, as well as my current situation.  But according to my happiness project, I need to think about what makes me feel happy, what makes me unhappy, and what makes me feel right about my current situation.

So, the resolutions I've developed for this month:

Create a detailed monthly budget.
In general, I've always kept track of my finances pretty well.  But as I'm sure you all are aware, it's the sneaky, small, frivolous purchases that have a way of adding up fast.  I want to keep a more detailed monthly budget to become more aware of my spending habits and know where to cut back.  I also want to create a budget for if I do end up back in school on a very small, fixed income.
Start building my savings on a monthly basis.
Frankly, I don't really have any savings.  I have a retirement plan, through work, which I can't touch, but as for a savings account, it's pretty dismal.  I have the Keep the Change debit card program, which rounds up my purchases and sends the difference to savings, so there is a small build there.  But I also use my credit cards for most of my purchases and then pay it off to get the points, so I don't take advantage of the Keep the Change program enough.  So I want to include savings building in my monthly budget.  I've already set aside a portion of my larger-than-expected refund this year to go to savings.
Give myself a monthly allowance.
After I've paid all the essential bills, I usually have a bit left over to spend.  I tend to be a little crazy with this spending, and end up not getting as much out of it as I could.  It really bothers me when I end up spending way more on fast food and restaurants than necessary, when I could eat at home much cheaper.  I don't shop very often, but when I do, I tend to go on sprees because I've been neglecting my inner shopper for so long.  And frankly, the amount I spend at Barnes & Noble and Half-Price Books is ridiculous, even if I get great deals.  So I need to still allow myself some fun purchases (after all, money is meant to be spent), but to keep it at practical levels that don't interfere with the rest of my budget and don't make me feel wasteful.
Start balancing my checkbook weekly
I have a pretty elaborate excel spreadsheet that I use as my checkbook.  And since I'm not able to carry it around with me, as it's on my desktop, I often will go weeks without updating my checkbook.  I need to stay on top of it more to make sure I'm on track with my budget and my funds haven't mysteriously disappeared.
Make a plan for paying off my car
As long time readers of my blog will remember, I really hate my car.  And not for any good reason, other than it's an annoyance and I'm tired of it and want something new.  As such, I've given up on my pipe dream of trading my car in for a new one.  Practically speaking, it doesn't make sense for me to finally pay off my car, which is in good shape, and then trade it in for something with higher monthly payments.  I want to know what it feels like to drive a car that you completely own.  That you don't have to make payments on. I also want to know this before the possibility of going to grad school on a much smaller, fixed income.  So I want to make a plan to pay off my car loan before the fall.
Start looking into my own car insurance
My parents still pay for my car insurance.  I know, I know, I'm a completely self-sufficient adult, and there's no reason they should be paying for it.  But honestly, the idea of trying to get insurance on my own scares me.  I have no idea how it even works.  I don't even know what a good monthly payment for car insurance is.  I don't even know if it IS in monthly payments.  All I know is my parents have Allstate and I'm insured in 6-month intervals.  So I need to sit down with my dad, who's all-knowing about car insurance, and pick his brain.  I want to get on top of it, and start paying it on my own.  But as I have no idea how much it costs (honestly, is it $50 a month?  $150?), I'm worried to take it on and then possibly not be able to afford it in the fall if I get into grad school...  I also need to start paying for my part of the cell phone bill....  So yeah, parents, I'll probably be bugging you about this stuff sometime this month.

It's going to be much harder to get a sense of accomplishment from this month's resolutions, as I won't have something to check off every day.  But if I can get a handle on all this financial stuff, it will take a huge, silent weight off the back of my mind every day.

"To Be Awake is to Be Alive." - Henry David Thoreau

I'm starting Week 4 of my Happiness Project tomorrow, and it will be my last week of working exclusively on my January resolutions.  I feel a little dejected over my progress so far, but not too much, because I knew change wouldn't come easily.

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I started my project with focusing four weeks on improving my energy, since having more energy might help with later resolutions.  But I knew this month would be difficult, as it would boil down to changing three things about myself that were ingrained habits, but which made me unhappy.

First and foremost, I'm a sleeper.  I sleep all the time if allowed.  I often take naps that turn into sleeping marathons.  I'd sleep well into the afternoons if I didn't have work to get me up.  I also would sleep until the last possible second on work mornings, making me rush around and start my day in a fluster.  I also am a night owl. I'd stay up ridiculously late, whiling away hours watching TV, or reading, checking the news, watching stupid YouTube videos, you name it.  When I would finally drag myself to bed, I'd be so exhausted, I would sleep so hard, which would make it difficult for me to wake up.  Just about every morning I'd wake up in a fugue state, having no idea where I was, what day it was, etc.  Sometimes I'd even wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning and start running around getting ready for work, completely oblivious to the time and day.  So I made the resolutions that I'd be in bed with the lights out by 11pm every night.  On weekdays, I'd wake up at 6 am in order to give myself plenty of time in the mornings.  On weekends, I'd let myself sleep until 8am because I didn't want to torture myself for no reason. :)

Another thing that bothered me was how much of a sloth I am.  Don't get me wrong, my job is pretty physically demanding.  I spend roughly 8 hours a day on my feet walking around, and average about 13 miles a day.  In other words, I definitely get over the 10,000 steps a day suggestion.  But anytime I was not at work, I was on my butt, in front of the computer or couch.  Even at work, I'd take the elevator out of laziness, even when the stairs would be faster.  My main issue was that I wasn't really getting any cardio activity in, even with all my walking.  Not that good type of cardio where you can feel your heart pumping and your blood working through your system.  So I made the decision to get 20 minutes of cardio everyday by running in the morning.  I love running because it helps me focus my thoughts, and I always feel so great after it.  Well, not immediately after it, maybe an hour or so later.  So not only would waking up and running in the morning get me a good heart workout, but it would also help my mind wake up in a very quiet, calm manner.

And the resolutions I was most dreading: giving up caffeine.  People in my family have a life-long addiction to Diet Dr. Pepper.  Well, most of us, anyways.  Since I don't like coffee, drinking sodas was pretty much the only way I got any caffeine.  I rarely drank tea, mostly decaf if I did.  And I don't count chocolate, because it is the nectar of the gods and therefore is in no way bad for you. :)  Also, I noticed people at work tend to tease me about the morning Diet Dr. Pepper's I would drink and would make a comment if I had more than one during the day. (Nevermind the fact that they drink at least two cups of coffee a day...)  Anyways, I'd given up caffeine periodically before, not so much with intention, but because I'd been too lazy to go to the store and get sodas and had run out.  But basically, being so dependent on caffeine made me feel bad about myself, especially when others noticed.  I often used my lack of caffeine as an excuse for silly behavior or stupid mistakes, which made it a really awful sort of crutch for me as well.  Not to mention that caffeine is essentially a drug, and I was addicted.  So I resolved to go cold turkey, and give up caffeine all together.  Well, caffeine in liquid form.  No happiness project should require giving up chocolate.

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So, starting my fourth week, I'm taking the time to look back over the last few weeks and evaluate.  Because I'm crazy, and organized, and a list-maker and note-taker, I've been keeping a chart of my resolutions.  Each day I fill out the chart, with a green check-mark for accomplishing a resolution and a red x-mark for failing one.  Here are some observations from my chart and experience over the last three weeks.

• It is much easier for me to go to bed earlier every night than it is for me to wake up earlier.  No great surprise, as I LOVE sleep.
• I noticed if I don't wake up early, I won't run during the rest of the day.  So it seems getting up early and running for 20 mins are inextricably tied together for me.
• I was sick for 3 days, and then traveled for four days in the middle of my second week, and that knocked me way off track.  It took me a full 3 days to get back to keeping my resolutions in any consistent fashion.
• Giving caffeine up has been the easiest of my resolutions, surprisingly.  I tricked myself by switching to decaf soda and tea, and I've just about weened myself off soda altogether.  Excluding my travel, there have only been two days that I've drank any caffeine.  And I haven't even had a single caffeine headache.  Bizarre...
• I have only had two days in the past three weeks that I accomplished every resolution.  Just two.  That makes me fairly mad at myself.  But on the bright side, including my travel days, I've only had two days were I didn't accomplish a single resolution.

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So, on my last week, starting tomorrow with my resolution to get up at 8am (since I've already broken my going to bed early resolution tonight...), I'm going to try my darnedest to keep every single resolution for a week.  It's one week.  I can do anything for one week.  Hopefully, I can do everything as well.  I know, realistically, I'll fail. But if I succeed, I'm going to be REALLY happy with myself.  And that is the goal of my project, after all.